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 Till Death

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PENCIL PUSHER (26-50 posts)
PENCIL PUSHER (26-50 posts)

Posts : 46
Age : 39
Join date : 2012-06-04
Location : Boston, Ma,

PostSubject: Till Death   Sun Jul 14, 2013 3:14 pm

Till Death Do us Part
Ava was standing in front of a full length mirror. The gown was a little too big. She would have to get it taken in again.
“It looks perfect on you.” The sales woman said as she placed the veil on Ava. “You’re going to make a beautiful bride.”
“I hope so.” Remarked Ava, as she played with her short brown hair.”If I make it to the altar.”
“Oh, do we have a case of cold feet?” questioned the saleswoman adjusting the veil.”It will pass with time.”
“That’s just it. I’m not sure how much time I have left.” mumbled Ava as tears started to roll down her face.
An hour later Ava was home lying her bed with a facecloth on her forehead. Her older sister Liz was lying next to her.
“I would have gone with you “stated Liz as she stroked her sister’s face.
“It was something I had to do by myself. “ replied Ava. “I didn’t want anyone to see me in my wedding gown. Especially seeing that there might not be a wedding.”
“You don’t know that.” snapped Liz “You can’t give up hope”
“I’m just being realistic.” Ava said as she got up from the bed. She picks up a picture of a woman. Just like Ava, she had dark brown hair. Some people use to say she looked like an older version of Halle Berry.
“He’s going to hate my hair cut.” Ava said as she picked up the picture of her and her fiance’ Marc. It was their engagement picture. In the picture, Ava had shoulder length dark brown hair. Now she had a pixie cut
“You don’t know that.” replied her sister. “The short and sassy look is in.” Ava smiled, but she wasn’t so sure. Her world has been turned upside down. Marc had been gone during that time.
“I’ll go with you to the airport to pick up Marc.” Offered Liz
“No, Marc and I need some alone time.” replied Ava picking up her keys “Marc and I have a lot to talk about.”
Marc was finishing up some last minute things before he headed to the airport. Marc was a corporate accountant for international engineering company. Marc was working in the San Francisco office, but he was officially transferring to the Boston office. Marc was looking forward to his life with Ava.
“Marc, can’t we convince you to stay here?” questioned a coworker
“Nope, my new life is waiting for me in Boston.” Smiled Marc and the he grab his briefcase and headed to the airport.
Once on the plane, Marc loosened his tie and closed his eyes. He began to picture his life with Ava. He couldn’t wait to see his future wife. Marc missed her terribly It had been a month since they last saw each other. They talked on the phone every night and Ava came to San Francisco for a weekend. Marc was worried about Ava too. The last time they talked on the phone, she sounded sad. Actually for the last few weeks she sounded sad to Marc. Marc thought it might be because he had been gone so long. Hopefully that was it and not that she was getting cold feet.
Ava nervously waited for Marc’s arrival. Ava knew the first thing Marc would notice was her hair cut and then everything would go downhill from there. Ava wondered what Marc’s reaction would be. Would he stay or would he leave? Ava took out her pink Red Sox’s hat and put it on.
When the plane landed, Marc practically jumped out of his seat. He was glad to be home and he couldn’t wait to have Ava in his arms. As he walked though the airport terminal, Marc spotted Ava waiting for him. Once she saw him, Ava ran into his arms.
“I missed you so much.” cried Ava as she hugged him.
“I missed you too Babe.” Then Marc kissed her passionately. As he kissed her, Ava’s hat fell off.
“What happened to all your hair?” questioned Marc touching Ava’s hair
“I went short and sassy.” answered Ava. “Do you like it?”
“It will take some time to get use to. But whatever makes you happy. I thought you were going to have it long for the wedding and do whatever you brides do to your hair.” Ava just looked at Marc with tears in her eyes.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” a worried Marc asked as he brought Ava to the sitting area. “Do you still want to marry me?”
“I still want to marry to you, but I don’t think you’re going to want to marry me.” Ava said calmly and then she burst into tears. Marc was puzzled; he didn’t know what was going on.
“Ava, please tell me what’s wrong.”
“There’s just no way to say it so I’m going to say it. I have cervical cancer.” Marc was silent for a few seconds then he grabbed Ava and hugged her tight.
“I love you Ava. We’ll get though this together. Me and you.” stated Marc.
“Me and you.” repeated Ava. “You still want to marry me?”
“Of course I do.”
“I might need a hysterectomy and if I do have one, I won’t be able to have kids.”
“We’ll adopt.”
“I can lose all my hair.” added Ava. Marc kissed her.
“I don’t care. It’s only hair and I’ll be bald with you.” replied Marc. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We’re going to beat this.” Then Marc lifted Ava up and carried her out of the airport. Marc brought Ava to their brownstone in Boston and carried her to their bedroom, where they made love all night.
“I like the short and sassy look.” Marc said the next morning as he played with Ava’s hair. “It makes you look like Halle Berry, only hotter.”
“I’m glad you like it.” replied Ava stroking Marc’s chest. “There’s a good chance I might be sick on our wedding day.”
“We can always move the date.” replied Marc as he hugged and Ava. “I’ll wait forever for you. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Even if I’m bald?” Ava asked staring into Marc’s dark brown eyes.
“I’ll be bald too.” chuckled Marc. He kissed Ava and then ran into the bathroom. Ava rolled over and hugged Marc’s pillow. It was great to have him back. Ava was looking forward to her life with Marc. A part of her was scared that once the treatments start and she began to become sick that he will leave her. Ava was about to get out of bed when her sister came bursting into her room.
“Tell me everything,” Liz demanded as she jumped into her sister’s bed.
“Have you heard of this great invention called the telephone?” Ava questioned as she put on her bathrobe.
“I tried calling, there was no answer.” explained Liz. “So tell me everything, is the wedding still on?” At that moment Marc walked out of the bathroom. When he saw Liz lying on the bed, Marc ran back into the bathroom.
“Does that answer your question?” Ava asked smiling, but then her smile faded away.
“What’s wrong?”
“Marc says he wants to still marry me, but what if, as I get sicker and sicker, he changes his mind or if what if because of the radiation and chemo, I can’t have his babies? He’ll leave.”
“You worry too much. “ Liz stated “Marc loves you and wants to marry you. Be happy.” Liz got up from the bed and hugged her little sister. “We have a week before you start radiation; we need to continue with the wedding planning.” Ava smiled. When she found out she had cancer, Ava put her wedding plans on her. Ava also put her life on hold. She had stop living. She would stay in bed all day and refused to go anywhere.
“Why think positively?” Ava cried one day. “It didn’t help Mom.”
“But they caught yours early, you can’t give up, you have to fight.” That day Liz pulled the blankets off her sister and pulled her out of bed. If Ava wasn’t going to fight, Liz was going to fight for her. She wasn’t going to lose her only sister.
“Ok, what’s on the wedding planning agenda?” Liz asked as she pulled out a notebook. “We should go pick of flowers.” Ava walked over to her sister and took the notebook from her.
“I want to wait a little while before we start planning.” explained Ava. “I want to make sure I won’t be too sick on my wedding day.”
“Sure.” replied Liz “I’m going to get more wedding magazines and plus I don’t want to see Marc naked again.” Liz hugged her sister again and left.
“She gone?” Marc asked as he peeped from the bathroom.
“Yeah you’re safe.” Ava chuckled. Marc came walking out of the bathroom and kissed Ava. Ava pulled Marc down on top of her and took off his towel.
“As much I would love to stay and play, I have to go.” growled Marc.
“Go. I thought you had the day off.”
“I do, but I have some errands I have to run.” Marc explained “But I will be back soon.”
“Fine I have some work do to anyways.” pouted Ava. Marc kissed her again and went to get dress.
While Marc was gone, Ava tired to work on her latest assignment for newspaper. It was on an up and coming singer and the deadline was two days away. But every time Ava would turn on her laptop, she would Google cervical cancer. Since her diagnoses it had been hard for Ava to concrete on things. Ava hoped with Marc by her side, she could get through this. Feeling hopeful Ava worked on her article.
When Marc came home, Ava was sound asleep on the couch. Marc sat down on the edge of the couch and gently began to shake Ava
“Wake up sleeping beauty.” Marc sang “I have something to tell you.” Marc began waving a paper in her face. Ava grabbed the paper and began reading it.

“Marriage license?” she asked. Marc shook his head.
“I don’t understand, we’re not getting married until August and it’s only May, why did you get it now?”
“Well, I figured maybe me and you can go to city hall to get married now and in August if you are feeling up to it we can have our wedding reception.” Ava threw her arms around Marc and started to cry. Marc held her tight and began rubbing her back.
“Are you sure about this?” she asked him in between sobs. Marc looked into Ava’s brown eyes and nodded.
“I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but yes I want to marry you. I want to marry you right this minute.”
“Liz is going to be so mad that she’s not going to be there.” Ava joked as Marc wiped the tears away.
“I think she’ll understand. Let’s get married.”Marc kissed her and went in the bedroom to get change. Ava skipped into the bedroom after him.
A month later, Ava was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and having a cup of tea. Usually she had a cup of coffee, but lately Ava had been a little nausea. She was hoping that she wasn’t getting sick. Ava was going to be starting her chemotherapy soon. She was nearing the end of her radiation treatment.
“Good morning, my beautiful wife.” Marc greeted as he walked into the kitchen. He kissed Ava softly on the lips and then poured himself some coffee. Afterward he placed a small box in front of her.
“What’s this?” Ava asked as she picked up the box.
“Open it" ordered Marc. When Ava opens in the box, inside was a silver necklace with a butterfly charm and the word Hope was the butterfly’s body.
“Oh my goodness, this is beautiful, Marc, you shouldn’t have!” Ava exclaimed “I’m glad you did though I love presents.”
“I just wanted to let you know, no matter what don’t ever give up and when you think that you can’t fight anymore, I’ll be there fighting for you.” Ava went to hug Marc when she fell to the ground clenching her abdomen.
“Ava, honey are you ok?” concerned Marc asked as he rushed over to her side.
“Yeah” she answered as she winced in pain. “It happened every so often. I’ll be ok.” Marc picked Ava up and carried her to the sofa. He began to stroke her face.
“I’m ok, this is nothing compare to what is ahead for me.” Explained Ava. Marc tried to keep a brave face on for Ava sake, but he was worried and afraid. He had done his own research on cervical cancer. Marc knew Ava had a good chance of beating it, but he knew it was going to be a long road. Tomorrow Ava was going to start chemotherapy. Both were praying that is would work. If not, Ava would have to have a hysterectomy. If that happened she would be devastated.
“Everything is going to be alright, honey.” Marc stated and he kissed Ava “It has to be” he thought himself.
“You don’t have to come with me to all my appointments. You have work.” Ava said to Marc on their way home from chemotherapy. “Liz has offered to take me.”
“I promised you I would be right by your side though this and I’m not going to break that promise.” Ava smiled at her husband and then broke down and cried. Marc pulled the car over and started to rub her back. “What’s wrong?”
“My hair is falling out!” she cried. “I’m going to be bald” Marc just stared at her. He didn’t know what to say to her. He just held her as she cried. A few minutes later, Marc carried Ava into the house.
“Liz will be here in a few, try to get some sleep.” Marc kissed her forehead and Ava drifted off to sleep. A few hours later Ava woke up to her sister sitting in her bed.
“You looked cold, so I put Mom’s sweater on you.” Liz said. Ava sniffed the sweater; it still smelled her mom’s perfume. “Mom’s favorite sweater.”
“One of many, she was always cold. After mom died, I kept them in her truck .” Liz chuckled “I’m glad you are awake, I have a surprise for you.” Liz ran out of her room Two seconds later Marc walked into the bedroom. He was bald.
“What did you do?” shrieked Ava.
“What, you don’t like the bald look?” replied Marc “I figured why you should be the only one bald in this relationship.”
“You did this for me?” Marc nodded his head and held his wife. “I do anything for you.” Ava fell asleep in Marc’s arms and for the first time in a long time, Ava dreamt of the future.

Two years, Liz walks into a dress makers shop carrying Ava’s white wedding gown. Liz has tears in her eyes as she brings the dress up to the counter.
“May I help you?” a kind old gentleman asked Liz as she greets her.
“My sister never got the chance to wear this.” Liz explained “
“Oh, I’m so sorry “the man apologized
“Don’t be, you see, I’m going to be an auntie really soon and I want to take this dress and turn it into a christening. My sister may not have been able to wear this dress, but my goddaughter will be able to.”

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WRITER (51-100 posts)
WRITER (51-100 posts)

Posts : 78
Join date : 2012-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Till Death   Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:13 pm

This is interesting. It could be really nice. Please, please take all this with a whole bag full of salt. You really need to smooth it out, it seems. You have a whole lot of telling that makes the writing fall flat. If you could get rid of the telling, it would jump and grab the reader a whole lot better. And maybe focus on using body language instead of dialog tags to show the emotions. The jumping in POV is a bit distracting, as well. Maybe you could put all of it except the very end into Ava's POV? Once again, I'm sorry for being so blunt. Take all this with a bag full of salt. :)


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