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 Truth Despised

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Doug Blair
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PostSubject: Truth Despised   Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:25 am

Truth Despised


"This born again
A phrase of men
That sits not well with me.

And all the blood
A cleansing flood
That flows from Calvary?

Must each address
His sinful mess
As if to start anew?

Will not the priest
And Easter’s feast
Suffice to see us through?"

But then a word
My spirit heard
Providing precious light.

‘The chicks from eggs,
The tadpole’s legs,
The Monarch at first flight.

The fruit from flower,
The rainbow shower,
The acorn, then the tree.’

And truth despised
Met clearer eyes
And set this captive free.

Ezekiel 36:

25Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.

26A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.




Last edited by Doug Blair on Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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Lora
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PostSubject: Re: Truth Despised   Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:01 pm

In your first stanza you state:

This “born again”
A phrase of men
That sits not well with me.

I find this a bit disturbing if you are speaking from your own heart. This is a phrase not of men but of Jesus. In John 3:3: "Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." It seems to be a very judgmental, condemning poem for your fellow Christians. It's a little hard to nail down some of what you say, and that can be a little disconcerting to me.

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PostSubject: Re: Truth Despised   Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:49 am

As I started this poem I was disturbed as well but as it ended I believe it is saying where you were verses where you are. If I am right in my interpretation then well done, if I am not then I will have to second my sister Lora.

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PostSubject: Re: Truth Despised   Fri Apr 05, 2013 11:24 pm

How could one see the impetuous, cranky, self-confident Peter of the Gospels and then the submissive, patient, exhorting Peter of the epistles and not believe in the New Birth?

In the poem I relate the skepticism found in many of the liberal churches concerning John 3:3. Yes I was there and a mere participant in Churchianity for the first thirty-one years of my life...but then "mercy re-wrote my life."

I think the discovery by the speaker in the poem is quite clear, Lora. He has come out of darkness. he has been set free.

I can remember heading up a Good Friday program for the youth at the London YMCA (while still a university student) and being struck with the fact that I so easily accepted chick from egg and other remarkable phenomena in nature. Why should resurrection seem so hard, I thought. Just another step up Jacob's ladder for Doug. So at that point new life from the dead was no strange thing.

But the process of trusting in the righteousness of another (Jesus as per Romans 5 and 6) was still some distance away for that young man filled with hopes and opportunities and approval of men, and nothing yet making the sin factor a heartfelt concern. The breaking came later.



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PostSubject: Re: Truth Despised   Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:23 am

As a fellow writer, I have a suggestion with regards to your writing. Be careful not to switch point of view or verb tense, even in poetry. Switching point of view can cause serious misunderstandings. And switching tense can make your readers feel confused and discombobulated. In this particular piece you switch from present to past tense a few times. As for point of view:


In the first stanza you start out with first person. So far so good until you change point of view later. That's when we lose the intention of the poem.

This “born again”
A phrase of men
That sits not well with me.

Here we have third person, omniscient point of view. So, this is where I started scratching my head, because, I'm thinking you are talking about someone else since you started off the poem talking to me in first person.

Must each address
His sinful mess
As if to start anew?

In these stanzas I thought you were coming at me in first person again, but wasn't sure anymore.

Will not the priest
And Easter’s feast
Suffice to see us through?

And truth despised
Meets clearer eyes
And sets this captive free.

But then a word
My spirit heard
Providing precious light.

And, finally, please be careful how you speak to me and others. You often come off as judgmental and/or like a cocky, smart-mouth such as the following sentences that you wrote:

How could one see the impetuous, cranky, self-confident Peter of the Gospels and then the submissive, patient, exhorting Peter of the epistles and not believe in the New Birth?

I think the discovery by the speaker in the poem is quite clear, Lora. He has come out of darkness. he has been set free.

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Doug Blair
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PostSubject: Re: Truth Despised   Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:04 am

Lora, I see your point about tense confusion in the poem. A few changes have been made. Thank you.
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