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 Introduction and a piece of my story.

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WRITER (51-100 posts)
WRITER (51-100 posts)

Posts : 78
Join date : 2012-12-10

PostSubject: Introduction and a piece of my story.   Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:54 pm

Hi everyone! I'm new here. I'm a new writer, and working toward finishing my novella and publishing as an E-Book. The title of my story is Dragon's Whisper. I haven't divided it into chapters yet, so here is the first nice scene or two.

Rael walked down the dirt path. Her loose tunic fluttered around her legs. She glanced at the armory, where they were testing weapons for durability. She gazed through the rows of houses, the only village in the land of Farra. Calling it a village was deceptive, it was actually quite expansive. Cries rang out from the armory. A spear had broken. She had only an hour before she would ned to return there, she was an apprentice.

She continued on. The town meeting would start soon, and she wanted to be there. She climbed the steps of the meeting hall and entered the main corridor. She approched the table at the center of the room, and took a seat near the corner.

A boy, 15, only one year older than her, entered and sat near the head of the table. His brown hair was cut short. Rael recognized him as Vincen, living a few houses down from her's. He smirked at her. She just glared.

As the meeting progressed, Rael was reminded of why she disliked Vincen so much. It seemed that there wasn't a problem he didn't have a solution for. It made her sick.

"Next, the Dragon attacks."
Rael's ears pricked up. This was the reason she came. She listened for a few minutes before raising her hand.

"I propose that we make an alliance with the dragons. Learn they're weaknesses, then break the alliance and use it against them."
Vincen raised his hand.

"I don't think it nescasarry to employ such a, pardon my saying this, stupid tactic. I have been making progress on a weapon that could relelutionize warfare. I propose that I show it to only the council after the meeting. This is highly dangerous, and our security could by comprimised if the wrong people aquired it."

Rael could swear he was looking straight at her for the last sentence. She seethed. He had shot down her idea, called it stupid, then trotted out his own brilliant idea and said she wasn't trustworthy enough to see it! She tuned out their words, but she knew what they were saying anyway. They were congratulating, praising, and applauding him for yet another brilliant idea. She also knew that if she opened her eyes, he would be right there, grinning smugly at her.

She slipped out quietly. Maybe she could get one of the warriors to give her a few fighting tips. She got fighting tips and training whenever she could, even though, technically, she was the apprentice of the weapon maker. She knew she wouldn't be able to offically train for two more years, and fight for at least another four years, but she had reasons for training this early.

One, the more training she had, the better chance she would survive. The dragon was a huge brutal fighter. It was practically impossible to kill a dragon by yourself. She knew that she probably wouldn't fight like the men, unless there was an emergency. Usually, the men were the warriors. The women were spies and archers. A dragon's senses were incredibly strong, so spies usually didn't come back.

Second, fighting was something Vincen couldn't do.

People spilled from the meeting hall. The meeting was over. She simply stood as the crowd engulfed her. The mob thinned, then disapated. The farmiliar sound of laughter rang in her ears. Hate filled her eyes as she recognized Vincen's voice.

"Hey, Warrior chick! Kill a dragon yet?"

Rael's eyes flashed. "I will once I've run you through!" she screamed. She turned, and broke into a run. She kept her head down, hoping no one would notice the tears glistening in her eyes.
She approched the wall that surrounded the village. With some effort, she pushed open the gate. The watchman gave her a look, but didn't say anything. She did this often.

She hurried into the forest, moving quietly. She walked slowly, then ducked behind a bush, then scurried behind a tree. She slithered through some tall grass, hiding from an imaginary dragon. A knotted rope hung from a branch in the middle of a small clearing. She rolled out of the bushes, attacking it with a stick.

Finally, she hit it so hard it swung up and wrapped around the branch. She climbed the tree and untangled the rope. Noticing that the branches from two of the trees overlapped, she climbed into the next tree. She made her through the trees, unaware that by the time she traveled through a tree, she was considerably higher. A few trees along, she found herself at the top of the high canoply.
I'm higher up than even the watchman! She thought gleefully.

She looked out, enjoying the view. She squinted. There was a speck against the setting sun. Her blood froze. She scrambled down the tree, nearly falling a few times. She could only guess how much closer it was.

She raced through the trees, stumbling constantly. She burst through the treeline, tripping and tumbling to the ground. The watchman eyed her with curiousity.

"Dragon!" she screamed.

I hope you like it! :)
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Posts : 5907
Age : 47
Join date : 2011-07-26
Location : Southern CA

PostSubject: Re: Introduction and a piece of my story.   Thu Jan 03, 2013 2:14 pm

I like it. I was bummed that I couldn't read the ending. It needs a little polishing and a few more descriptive details, but I think it's a great start. It kind of reminds me of the animated movies that are popular now like "Brave." I hope we get to read more in the future!

God Bless, Lora  Nice Ta Meet Ya
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