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 Can't You See?

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PostSubject: Can't You See?   Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:54 am

One that I'm working on.

Can't You See?


Standing on the corner of an empty street
Of another dead end town.
My foot keeping tempo with a tired stop light
As I drank my last dime down.
Watching as the sun set on another dream that died.
I pulled my coat a little tighter as I hung my head and cried.

I stared at the man that stared at me
From the dirty window pane
The hollow eyes and the sunken cheeks
That man didn't look the same.
The plans, the dreams all gone away, trying to make just one more day
Are you still here Lord, or have you gone away?

cho.
Can't you see, Lord, just how far I've fallen?
Are you there, do you even care?
I'm on my knees, can you hear me calling?
Can't you see, Lord, just how far I've fallen?

His presence I felt, deep inside
I knew that He knew my need.
But He in His grace and love
Had to let me hit my knees.
Without my total trust in Him, letting go so He could lead again
A life turned around, turning back to Him.

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Lora
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PostSubject: Re: Can't You See?   Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:25 pm

That first stanza is so powerful. You really brought home the desperation and loneliness in the protagonist. The chorus is awesome too. It brings out the questioning I think we all cry out when we are at our lowest. I can't wait to see what else you do with this.

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PostSubject: Re: Can't You See?   Fri Dec 16, 2011 3:58 pm

"Standing on the corner of an empty street"



this line I could totally identify with...great lead in, loved it!!

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